Bring Me Back to Life

I must say this week just flew by. I was expecting a bit of a downer week after last week, but I was surprised how quickly it went. I’m not sure if its because my work load is insane or just that I’m at a different place emotionally. I tend to focus on aspiration rather than current realities and at times this can be a hindrance as far as actually getting ahead in life. I don’t feel that everything is in place- for some reason I still think that something else needs to happen in order to make me fulfilled. I have no idea what that is and to tell you the truth I’m not sure where to start looking. I am happy to report that I will be working on a new project with my friend Morgan- who really puts me to shame when it comes to juggling a thousand things at once. We have decided to go in a new direction and expand our cast of characters- instead of doing another Touch of Sapphire web series we are transplanting some of the characters into the new series Ruby Roulette. We have more focus to tell a greater story this time around and add more action. I enjoy working on the series because of how passionate Morgan is. Her passion is infectious and its nice to be around that kind of energy. I tend to feed off that kind of energy in my everyday life because I always believe that I can be greater if I work harder and do more. I think the web series will give me some freedom to be creative, something that I crave more than not. I’m worried that I don’t understand what the world “Joy” means- It bothers me more and more every day. I can’t understand how some people say that it doesn’t exist because I see people who have it. People who carry it with them just have a radiance that you can see. I know for a fact that it exists and I have no idea how to grasp it. It bothers me that I can’t get a handle on what, where, and how I’m supposed to live. I feel a bit lost right now and though I keep pushing ahead- for once I have no idea how to achieve it.