He stares into her eyes.

She tries to look away.

He moves closer.

She bites her bottom lip.

Her hair falls around her face.

She is stunning.

He says…”I love you.”

She says…”I don’t.”

He grasps her arm.

She pulls away.

She whispers in his ear.

“I want you.”

He moves against her skin.

“I need you.”

She smiles closing her eyes.

He lifts her arms into the sky.

She laughs.

He loves that sound.

She knows.

“Need you.”

He pulls her close.

She pulls him close.

Embrace.

Embrace.

Embrace.

1. What’s your favorite tv show of all time and why?

I have so many shows that I loved and lost. Buffy was huge for me back in the day as was Felicity. I’m a huge fan of Madmen, True blood, and Game of Thrones today.

2. How many hours a week do you spend watching tv?

I’m not sure, but since I DVR everything and speed through commercials I can get much more out of my TV watching.

3. What’s your favorite tv station and why?

In this day and age you can’t afford to have a favorite station because let’s face it, you would be missing out on a bunch of great stuff.

4. What was your favorite tv show when you were growing up?

When I was a kid Power Rangers ruled my existence. It’s morphing time!

5. Who’s your favorite actor on television and why?

Right now I have a huge crush on Elizabeth Moss for creating such great moments!

6. Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, a police drama, a legal drama, or a medical drama?

If I want to feel like a zombie I’m really into reality competition shows like Top Chef and The Amazing Race. If I want to think than I always watch Drama or great Comedy.

7. Has a television show ever moved you to tears?

There have been moments in every show that has really pushed me!

8. Do you watch the news on tv? How often?

I don’t watch the news on TV because I listen to BBC on the radio every morning on my drive to work.

9. Have you ever been on tv?

No and I have no desire to be.

10. If you were a character on a tv show, which one would you be?

I would be Don Draper because he lives the life that I would want- from being an Ad Executive to living in a glamorous not true to life 1950’s era. He screws everything up from time to time, but everyone loves Don.

I must say this week just flew by. I was expecting a bit of a downer week after last week, but I was surprised how quickly it went. I’m not sure if its because my work load is insane or just that I’m at a different place emotionally. I tend to focus on aspiration rather than current realities and at times this can be a hindrance as far as actually getting ahead in life. I don’t feel that everything is in place- for some reason I still think that something else needs to happen in order to make me fulfilled. I have no idea what that is and to tell you the truth I’m not sure where to start looking. I am happy to report that I will be working on a new project with my friend Morgan- who really puts me to shame when it comes to juggling a thousand things at once. We have decided to go in a new direction and expand our cast of characters- instead of doing another Touch of Sapphire web series we are transplanting some of the characters into the new series Ruby Roulette. We have more focus to tell a greater story this time around and add more action. I enjoy working on the series because of how passionate Morgan is. Her passion is infectious and its nice to be around that kind of energy. I tend to feed off that kind of energy in my everyday life because I always believe that I can be greater if I work harder and do more. I think the web series will give me some freedom to be creative, something that I crave more than not. I’m worried that I don’t understand what the world “Joy” means- It bothers me more and more every day. I can’t understand how some people say that it doesn’t exist because I see people who have it. People who carry it with them just have a radiance that you can see. I know for a fact that it exists and I have no idea how to grasp it. It bothers me that I can’t get a handle on what, where, and how I’m supposed to live. I feel a bit lost right now and though I keep pushing ahead- for once I have no idea how to achieve it.

1. What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?

Like any movie fan its hard to pick a favorite of all time! I think the movies I love are based more on a time in my life where I found that particular movie to define my personal growth. I love and have always loved A Clockwork Orange and Requiem for a Dream because of how visceral and demanding they are of any viewer. I also have a very soft spot in my heart for A.I. which was a failed masterpiece from Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg.  I was really impressed by The Social Network recently and the new Harry Potter.

2. What was the best movie you saw this last year and why?

Black Swan was stunning filmmaking at its best. It did feel it was a bit unfocused in its execution than I had anticipated from Darren Aronofsky, but the ballerina storyline felt fresh and a little twisted.

3. Who’s your favorite director and why?

My Favorite director of all time is Stanley Kubrick because he pushes the boundaries of the medium while maintaining a high emotional level. My favorite living director would have to be Darren Aronofsky for his always powerful work.

4. Do you like black and white movies? Why or why not?

Yes, I love black and white movies. I feel like they were a style all their own back in the day. I really like Sunset Blvd. and Roman Holiday- beautiful cinematography in both.

5. Do you read movie reviews? If so, which reviewers do you enjoy? If not, why?

I read reviews about everything and my favorite spot to get movie reviews is metacritic.com that compiles all reviews from the web to one place. I also love Salon.com for writing reviews that are more of a commentary behind the movie than a plot synopsis.

6. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? Do you like horror movies? Why or why not?

I had a very hard time watching Hostel because of the graphic torture scenes, but I do like horror movies. I think horror is different for everyone, but Guillermo Del Toro’s Pans Labyrinth still gives me chills.

7. Who’s your favorite actor and why?

I think that Meryl Streep is the actress who defined this centuries views on acting as a craft. She elevates her roles and makes it look easy. I also have a lot of respect for Tom Hanks who is interesting and dynamic in every movie I’ve seen him in.

8. Do you cry at movies? If so, which movies make you cry?

I don’t cry at movies, but I do remember getting very emotional and upset when I watched Maria full of Grace which is  a very haunting look at drug trafficking from Mexico. I felt punched in the gut really.

9. What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?

Something about Mary was hilarious back in the day. I also laughed a lot at 40 year old virgin.

10. Would you rather see a movie at the theater or at home on DVD? Why?

I go to theater for big action event movies like Harry Potter, but I prefer to watch movies at home on the big screen in blu-ray- like a true movie snob, lol. 

Today on why TV matters I’m going to review Wilfred, an exotic important with a dry sense of humor ready to take over America.  Wilfred is currently enjoying a mid-season run on the sometimes programming challenged FX Network. This Australian import based on a show of the same name stars Elijah Wood as Ryan, a suicidal stoner young slacker who befriends his neighbor’s dog Wilfred played by original character actor Jason Gann. The show has had some trouble finding its balance as far as what kind of comedy it wants to be. Its sometimes dark and twisted referential comedy works best, but at times it will run with thinly laid out plots that require the characters to save it from mediocre punch-line comedy. Ryan conjures up Wilfred one day and they quickly become best friends setting the groundwork for “wacky” misadventures. Each episode is some statement word that you would find on one of those inspirational posters (episode one was smugly titled “Happiness”) that the entire plot is built around. The chemistry between Wood and Gann snaps with disparity and sharp college humor that threatens the surrounding almost mundane show with its sheer genius. It feels stereotypical when it should feel fresh because Ryan is indeed talking to a pot smoking over sexed dog (I feel bad for poor bear). The show smartly doesn’t outright declare that Ryan is seeing a real dog or a make believe dog or a subconscious manifestation of his worst personality traits. It just wants to show the adventure and allow Ryan to get into all sorts of trouble that Wilfred pushes on him. The comedy can sometimes be very dark and really push the boundaries as far as cable can handle. It doesn’t heavily rely on you knowing what its referencing and just expects you to understand with smartly written non-sequiturs and dirty visual gags. Wood looks mopey enough to handle all the proceedings and Gann is a bit of a revelation as Wilfred giving him some nicely written dark undertones. What stops Wilfred from being a great comedy instead of just a good one is pacing. It just doesn’t know what kind of comedy it wants to be yet- from a dark character study on the human plight or just a show about a funny dog that does human type stuff. The doggy humor can sometimes be funny or just an easy laugh, but the show doesn’t always know how to treat other characters who surround our two leads. Ryan’s sister is probably the worst written on the show being almost a caricature of Ryan’s own demented mind. I believe this is what we the audience or supposed to see…Ryan’s view of his sister and not really who she represents as a person. These little structural metaphors can drag Wilfred into poorly plotted episodes such as when Wilfred wants to get rid of his owners boyfriend. Of course like any sitcom Ryan has a crush on Wilfred’s owner Jenna who barely registers as any kind of interesting person. Wilfred is a weird show and sometimes disgustingly weird or absolutely laugh track ready and if decides to pick a direction then I hope its one of a richer darker more demented take on this gimmicky premise.

Should You Watch? Yes, if only to see a grown man in a dog suit humping a stuffed bear which is funnier than you think.

I breathe for you.

I hold you.

Music holds me.

It lifts you.

I predict a fall.

You see a rise.

I can’t forget the past.

You run to the future.

It all falls slowly.

It all breaks carefully.

I see a warning sign.

You see go ahead.

I run with deep meaning.

You smile with heart warming joy.

There is not you.

There is not us.

The truth is.

I miss you.

Today we celebrate that cerebral mind bender that is Black Swan.  A movie that racked up a bunch of awards and had a tone of its own to say the least.  While we love dangerous women lets not get on the wrong side of a ballerina.  

Black Swan 2010

What is it about? Nina (Portman) is a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her obsessive former ballerina mother Erica (Hershey) who exerts a suffocating control over her. When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but Lily is the personification of the Black Swan. As the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship, Nina begins to get more in touch with her dark side - a recklessness that threatens to destroy her.

Why I love it:  First you must understand the genius of Darren Aronofsky  and how his work influences the narrative.  You know going into one of his movies that you are going to see something that tests your limits either visually or mentally, but always beautifully arresting.  One of my all time favorite Aronofsky films is Requiem for a Dream and its stunning to this day.  I love Black Swan for the quirky dark tone, but also for the dramatic overtures of the whole ballerina scene- really a world unto itself.  Natalie Portman doesn’t so much act it as embodies it and while the story may suffocate from some of its own realities, it simply beats to its own fresh wicked dark themes.

This is part two of my Emmy nominations preview.

Comedy actress: Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie; Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation; Laura Linney, The Big C; Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope; Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly.

Who Deserves to Win:   This is an interesting category this year with a few breakout performances, but I think Amy Poehler deserves to win for her portrayal of the endearing Leslie Knope.

Will Win:  The Academy likes a big draw and Laura Linney is a prestigious enough star to win for the struggling and uneven first season of The Big C.

Supporting drama actor: Andre Braugher, Men of a Certain Age; John Slattery, Mad Men; Alan Cumming, The Good Wife; Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones; Josh Charles, The Good Wife; Walton Goggins, Justified.

Who Deserves to Win:  Peter Dinklage gave warmth and humor to the sometimes over dramatic Game of Thrones and for that he deserves a win.

Will Win:  Walton Goggins from Justified has had a lot of buzz for his role on the hit FX series.

Supporting comedy actor: Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family; Ed O’Neill, Modern Family; Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Chris Colfer, Glee.

Who Deserves to Win: While Modern Family is dominating this category I think the win should go to Ty Burrell for his always on point and funny performance as Phil.

Will Win:  Chris Colfer is enough of a fresh face to take the win for Glee.

Supporting comedy actress: Julie Bowen, Modern Family; Sofia Vergara, Modern Family; Jane Lynch, Glee; Betty White, Hot in Cleveland; Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock.

Who Deserves to Win: There is nothing better than giving Sofia Vergara the ability to make the character her own and this season she made Gloria a standout hit.

Will Win:  I see Julie Bowen winning for her underrated performance, but Betty White is just too much of a special actress for the Academy to pass up even if she is nominated for a third rate show.

Supporting drama actress: Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife; Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire; Christine Baranski, The Good Wife; Michelle Forbes, The Killing; Margo Martindale, Justified; Christina Hendricks, Mad Men.

Who Deserves to Win: Christina Hendricks turned a vamp role into something special and for that deserves the win.

Will Win:  Look at Archie Panjabi to win again for The Good Wife.

Movie or miniseries Mildred Pierce, HBO; Downtown Abbey, PBS; The Kennedys, ReelzChannel; Cinema Verite, HBO; Too Big To Fail, HBO; Pillars of the Earth, Starz.

Who Deserves to Win: The winning Mildred Pierce for HBO had a stellar class and great story.

Will Win:  I think really Mildred Pierce is the only competition in this category.

Reality competition: So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, The Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway.

Who Deserves to Win: After last years shocking win for Top Chef, I have a feeling that this might be American Idol’s year.

Will Win:  So You Think You Can Dance is still on top of its game after eight seasons.

Reality host: Jeff Probst, Survivor; Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance; Phil Keoghan, Amazing Race; Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars; Ryan Seacrest, American Idol.

Who Deserves to Win: Cat Deeley brings something special and deserves a win after not getting nominated the last four years.

Will Win:  I think the Academy will rightfully choose Cat Deeley.

Variety, music or comedy series: The Colbert Report, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live, Conan, Real Time with Bill Maher, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Who Deserves to Win:   Jimmy Fallon is making great strides with his work on Late Night, but might be too hipster cool for the Academy.

Will Win:  I think the Daily Show will have another win in this category.

The Emmy Nominations have once again come around and its time to see exactly who has what it takes to take gold home.  Now some shows have had spectacular seasons and bittersweet endings, but really there can only be a few that have love from the academy.

Best drama series: Boardwalk Empire, Friday Night Lights, Dexter, Game of Thrones, The Good Wife, Mad Men.

Who Deserves to Win:  Game of Thrones.  Making Television epic again is no small feat, but somehow Game of Thrones pulled off grand story arcs and brought a rich diverse world to life.

Will Win:  Mad Men’s season may not feel like the freshest anymore, but season four had powerful episodes that defined Television in 2010.  Look for another win in this category. 

Best comedy series: Modern Family, 30 Rock, Glee, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, Parks and Recreation.

Who Deserves to Win:  Parks and Recreation found a tone and made Pawnee the city you wished you lived in.  With its inside jokes and smartly written characters you can’t help but feel the charm.

Will Win:  This is a tough category, but I see Modern Family taking it again this year with what felt like a slight sophomore slump.  The academy still loves a good breakout hit and Modern Family has kept that tradition alive and well. 

Drama actress: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife; Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU; Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights and Mireille Enos, The Killing.

Who Deserves to Win:  Elisabeth Moss was hands down a phenomenal breakout in the episode “The Suitcase”.  Connie Britton deserves one for her entire run on Friday Night Lights, but I feel that the nomination will have to be reward enough.

Will Win:  Elisabeth Moss for the upset against Julianna Margulies.

Comedy actor: Steve Carell, The Office; Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory;  Matt LeBlanc, Episodes, Louis C.K., Louie; Johnny Galecki, Big Bang Theory.

Who Deserves to Win:  Jim Parsons for the winning performance he gives in the Big Bang Theory.  Having won in this category last year it may just not be a repeat.

Will Win:  I believe this is Steve Carells year to win for his lifetime achievement work on The Office and rightfully so.

Drama actor: Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire; Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Hugh Laurie, House; Timothy Olyphant, Justified.

Who Deserves to Win:  Kyle Chandler brought something real and passionate to the role of coach, but like the show itself there just might not be enough momentum going into this race.

Will Win:  I think Steve Buscemi may take it for his lead actor role on Boardwalk Empire or Michael C. Hall for the upset.

Since the last two months have sped up exponentially I’m just now starting to realize how fast it really has all gone by.  I’m excited for future projects, but for the most part feel lost..maybe I really feel lost in translation.  I’m having a hard time translating the time I am in now with how I feel.  I think when we are younger we spend so much time romanticizing about success that we tend to forget how really there is no such thing as the perfect successful future.  I think achieving your dreams is a definite possibility for most people and I know a lot of people who work hard and find that special purpose.  For the last three years I have felt that I was on the right path, but now I’m not so sure.  I enjoy what I do and I enjoy coming up with new ideas that can help me grow as a person, but most of the time it feels empty.  Graduation felt empty.  My day to day errands feel empty.  Now I’m not saying that “empty” is a negative thing- It’s the kind of feeling that doesn’t elicit a response really.  I wake up every morning trying to feel something about anything, but really I go through the motions of making it each day.  I’m always on time and courteous of other people no matter how disappointed they seem.  I take one minute when I park my car every morning before work to look out at the skyline to watch the sun rise and warm the day and I tell myself that this is important.  That everything we do in our day to day is important because it takes up most of our life and it would just feel devastating if it all really meant nothing.  I guess the real feeling is deriving meaning from what you don’t find important and that is where the life lessons live.  For everyone everywhere they search and search for meaning and meaning by definition can mold itself to anything you need it to be.  As a kid sitting on your bed looking up at your day glow galaxy sticker ceiling you dream about a future that may or not have a foot in reality, but it doesn’t matter.  It just feels in a word “romantic”- an ever lasting dream perfectly held in time by your imagination.  As you travel the world it begins to take shape and the reality begins to cut away at it.  It is no longer perfect as you work through the people, relationships, and events of your everyday life.  It gets bruised and cracked as your emotions begin to grow and you open your eyes to the truth that unfolds in front of you.  You no longer feel the same way you did as a child staring on what felt like an endless sky, but instead your world feels smaller and even more closed.  This is not true for everyone as everyone has a view of their own reality, but its easy enough to see when you actually stop and pay attention.  The romantic dream no longer feels real, but instead feels just like it always was meant to- a dream.