She ran her fingers across the lid of the box feeling the edges. She wondered how this gift had arrived. She wasn’t expecting a gift.  It was a late January afternoon and the clouds were closing in on another cool day. The trees blew ever so slightly in the breeze.  Miranda was a twentyish something blonde with bright red lips. She had pale ivory skin and bright pink nails.  She sat the box in the middle of her dining room table. It was wrapped in bright yellow paper with a bright red bow. There was no tag or writing, just an empty white card attached at the top.  She grabbed a pair of scissors from a kitchen drawer filled with buttons and trinkets.  She made a single cut at the top of the bow. It fell apart cascading all around the box until it all hit the table.  She ran her fingers through the bow.  It felt soft and velvety.  She picked up the long untied bow and wrapped it around her shoulders as if it were a scarf. Against her bright yellow sun dress she thought she looked like the box. It fell off of her shoulders. She went back to the package. She grabbed her scissors and started making a single cut down the front of the box. The scratching of the scissors filled the air. She took her left hand and just ripped the paper right in half sending a piece across the table. There laid a wooden box. It was a rich dark mahogany box with a brass handle. Against the handle on a white string fell a small silver key. The key glistened in the light. It had the initials ME inscribed in cursive. She picked up the key and tore it from the handle.  On top of the box was a small round key hole. Above it was inscribed “Know” in the same cursive lettering. She put the key into the box and turned it clockwise once until she heard a click. The box opened slightly. She put her hand on the brass handle and pulled up. The box popped open revealing a white envelope. She grabbed the envelope then her scissors cutting along the edge. She stopped. She looked at the box again and then at the envelope. She ran her hand on top of the box again feeling the indentation of the letters…She began to open the envelope. She then heard a knock on her door. She set the envelope down and went to the door.  The envelope laid next to the scissors then blew off the table from a fan across the room. The envelope fell on the floor and out came a photo. It was a picture of Miranda in her bright yellow sun dress with a red bow. Miranda never came back to the table. Miranda did not live past the envelope hitting the floor.

Ever since I can remember I have had this anxiety about the direction and meaning of my life and I’ve never understood why it was on my mind so much.  I never understood why there was so much fear and why I couldn’t cope with just the everyday business of “everyday”, but remembering what your life is and what you are can seem endless.  There are people making it happen each and everyday with a lot less than I.  I guess because of the life I have had, which has been an amazingly great one-  The directions my childhood could have gone are much worse than I care to think of.  I can’t decide what the importance really is.   Why do we move forward and to what point are we satisfied and if we are never satisfied does that make our life much less meaningful?  When I was a kid I could just take all my ambition and put it into dreams, because dreams felt safe and wonderful.  There was never anything that could destroy those thoughts and I made myself believe that I could be ok just thinking about how great everything would be, but now that I’m not a kid anymore there is a since of loss.  I lost the ability to dream and that scares me because now I’m weighted down by ideas of obligation and security.  I have to fight for myself to live a secure life that can benefit me when I’m much older.  I want to be able to retire and focus on not worrying so much about whether or not everything will be ok.  I feel out of focus because my drive is no longer about what might be, but more about how to not let everything fall apart.  I work harder than I have ever, but I’m not sure what that means. I don’t know if there will be opportunities for me in the future and I don’t know where I’m going to end up.  Usually people have a feeling of what they want and it can be simple- You went to law school. You became a lawyer. You are a partner at a law firm.  You own your  law firm. Does that equal dream realized?  I don’t have a set plan like that. I vaguely have an idea of what to do next and most of my time is spent just staying in place.  I have always tried not to concern myself with bills, schedules, and worry – but lately all I do is worry.  I fear if I get sick if I can still go at a 100%.  I fear that being further away from my parents causes me to lose my identity.  I fear that if something goes wrong that I can cope with it.  I think that I put a lot of the stress on myself and I really don’t know why.  I don’t have anything to worry about because life moves forward and it will no matter if I’m part of it or not.  I’m making it and I’m realizing some small goals for myself.  I guess I just don’t understand the term “happiness”.  Life feels so fragile, yet people treat it like its some kind of chore.  Does happiness come from anything?  Does it matter if you feel ok or does it have to be something?  Does shaping our world mean blocking out the negative and living in the positive?  I don’t know. I know so many people doing so many great things, but I have no clue how they do it. I can barely get myself together and ready for the day.  I hope when I’m an old man sitting at a table by myself that I won’t feel regret.  I hope that I feel calm and at peace with what became of my life.  Right now I have no idea how the big picture turns out. Do I want the suburban life? Do I enjoy the hustle of a full time all consuming job? Do I want to be creative or just focused?  Does any of it matter in the end?  Does fear just always follow you?  I remember a time when the dreams didn’t feel so complicated because they felt so real. 

He stares into her eyes.

She tries to look away.

He moves closer.

She bites her bottom lip.

Her hair falls around her face.

She is stunning.

He says…”I love you.”

She says…”I don’t.”

He grasps her arm.

She pulls away.

She whispers in his ear.

“I want you.”

He moves against her skin.

“I need you.”

She smiles closing her eyes.

He lifts her arms into the sky.

She laughs.

He loves that sound.

She knows.

“Need you.”

He pulls her close.

She pulls him close.

Embrace.

Embrace.

Embrace.

1. What’s your favorite tv show of all time and why?

I have so many shows that I loved and lost. Buffy was huge for me back in the day as was Felicity. I’m a huge fan of Madmen, True blood, and Game of Thrones today.

2. How many hours a week do you spend watching tv?

I’m not sure, but since I DVR everything and speed through commercials I can get much more out of my TV watching.

3. What’s your favorite tv station and why?

In this day and age you can’t afford to have a favorite station because let’s face it, you would be missing out on a bunch of great stuff.

4. What was your favorite tv show when you were growing up?

When I was a kid Power Rangers ruled my existence. It’s morphing time!

5. Who’s your favorite actor on television and why?

Right now I have a huge crush on Elizabeth Moss for creating such great moments!

6. Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, a police drama, a legal drama, or a medical drama?

If I want to feel like a zombie I’m really into reality competition shows like Top Chef and The Amazing Race. If I want to think than I always watch Drama or great Comedy.

7. Has a television show ever moved you to tears?

There have been moments in every show that has really pushed me!

8. Do you watch the news on tv? How often?

I don’t watch the news on TV because I listen to BBC on the radio every morning on my drive to work.

9. Have you ever been on tv?

No and I have no desire to be.

10. If you were a character on a tv show, which one would you be?

I would be Don Draper because he lives the life that I would want- from being an Ad Executive to living in a glamorous not true to life 1950’s era. He screws everything up from time to time, but everyone loves Don.

I must say this week just flew by. I was expecting a bit of a downer week after last week, but I was surprised how quickly it went. I’m not sure if its because my work load is insane or just that I’m at a different place emotionally. I tend to focus on aspiration rather than current realities and at times this can be a hindrance as far as actually getting ahead in life. I don’t feel that everything is in place- for some reason I still think that something else needs to happen in order to make me fulfilled. I have no idea what that is and to tell you the truth I’m not sure where to start looking. I am happy to report that I will be working on a new project with my friend Morgan- who really puts me to shame when it comes to juggling a thousand things at once. We have decided to go in a new direction and expand our cast of characters- instead of doing another Touch of Sapphire web series we are transplanting some of the characters into the new series Ruby Roulette. We have more focus to tell a greater story this time around and add more action. I enjoy working on the series because of how passionate Morgan is. Her passion is infectious and its nice to be around that kind of energy. I tend to feed off that kind of energy in my everyday life because I always believe that I can be greater if I work harder and do more. I think the web series will give me some freedom to be creative, something that I crave more than not. I’m worried that I don’t understand what the world “Joy” means- It bothers me more and more every day. I can’t understand how some people say that it doesn’t exist because I see people who have it. People who carry it with them just have a radiance that you can see. I know for a fact that it exists and I have no idea how to grasp it. It bothers me that I can’t get a handle on what, where, and how I’m supposed to live. I feel a bit lost right now and though I keep pushing ahead- for once I have no idea how to achieve it.

1. What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?

Like any movie fan its hard to pick a favorite of all time! I think the movies I love are based more on a time in my life where I found that particular movie to define my personal growth. I love and have always loved A Clockwork Orange and Requiem for a Dream because of how visceral and demanding they are of any viewer. I also have a very soft spot in my heart for A.I. which was a failed masterpiece from Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg.  I was really impressed by The Social Network recently and the new Harry Potter.

2. What was the best movie you saw this last year and why?

Black Swan was stunning filmmaking at its best. It did feel it was a bit unfocused in its execution than I had anticipated from Darren Aronofsky, but the ballerina storyline felt fresh and a little twisted.

3. Who’s your favorite director and why?

My Favorite director of all time is Stanley Kubrick because he pushes the boundaries of the medium while maintaining a high emotional level. My favorite living director would have to be Darren Aronofsky for his always powerful work.

4. Do you like black and white movies? Why or why not?

Yes, I love black and white movies. I feel like they were a style all their own back in the day. I really like Sunset Blvd. and Roman Holiday- beautiful cinematography in both.

5. Do you read movie reviews? If so, which reviewers do you enjoy? If not, why?

I read reviews about everything and my favorite spot to get movie reviews is metacritic.com that compiles all reviews from the web to one place. I also love Salon.com for writing reviews that are more of a commentary behind the movie than a plot synopsis.

6. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? Do you like horror movies? Why or why not?

I had a very hard time watching Hostel because of the graphic torture scenes, but I do like horror movies. I think horror is different for everyone, but Guillermo Del Toro’s Pans Labyrinth still gives me chills.

7. Who’s your favorite actor and why?

I think that Meryl Streep is the actress who defined this centuries views on acting as a craft. She elevates her roles and makes it look easy. I also have a lot of respect for Tom Hanks who is interesting and dynamic in every movie I’ve seen him in.

8. Do you cry at movies? If so, which movies make you cry?

I don’t cry at movies, but I do remember getting very emotional and upset when I watched Maria full of Grace which is  a very haunting look at drug trafficking from Mexico. I felt punched in the gut really.

9. What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?

Something about Mary was hilarious back in the day. I also laughed a lot at 40 year old virgin.

10. Would you rather see a movie at the theater or at home on DVD? Why?

I go to theater for big action event movies like Harry Potter, but I prefer to watch movies at home on the big screen in blu-ray- like a true movie snob, lol. 

Today on why TV matters I’m going to review Wilfred, an exotic important with a dry sense of humor ready to take over America.  Wilfred is currently enjoying a mid-season run on the sometimes programming challenged FX Network. This Australian import based on a show of the same name stars Elijah Wood as Ryan, a suicidal stoner young slacker who befriends his neighbor’s dog Wilfred played by original character actor Jason Gann. The show has had some trouble finding its balance as far as what kind of comedy it wants to be. Its sometimes dark and twisted referential comedy works best, but at times it will run with thinly laid out plots that require the characters to save it from mediocre punch-line comedy. Ryan conjures up Wilfred one day and they quickly become best friends setting the groundwork for “wacky” misadventures. Each episode is some statement word that you would find on one of those inspirational posters (episode one was smugly titled “Happiness”) that the entire plot is built around. The chemistry between Wood and Gann snaps with disparity and sharp college humor that threatens the surrounding almost mundane show with its sheer genius. It feels stereotypical when it should feel fresh because Ryan is indeed talking to a pot smoking over sexed dog (I feel bad for poor bear). The show smartly doesn’t outright declare that Ryan is seeing a real dog or a make believe dog or a subconscious manifestation of his worst personality traits. It just wants to show the adventure and allow Ryan to get into all sorts of trouble that Wilfred pushes on him. The comedy can sometimes be very dark and really push the boundaries as far as cable can handle. It doesn’t heavily rely on you knowing what its referencing and just expects you to understand with smartly written non-sequiturs and dirty visual gags. Wood looks mopey enough to handle all the proceedings and Gann is a bit of a revelation as Wilfred giving him some nicely written dark undertones. What stops Wilfred from being a great comedy instead of just a good one is pacing. It just doesn’t know what kind of comedy it wants to be yet- from a dark character study on the human plight or just a show about a funny dog that does human type stuff. The doggy humor can sometimes be funny or just an easy laugh, but the show doesn’t always know how to treat other characters who surround our two leads. Ryan’s sister is probably the worst written on the show being almost a caricature of Ryan’s own demented mind. I believe this is what we the audience or supposed to see…Ryan’s view of his sister and not really who she represents as a person. These little structural metaphors can drag Wilfred into poorly plotted episodes such as when Wilfred wants to get rid of his owners boyfriend. Of course like any sitcom Ryan has a crush on Wilfred’s owner Jenna who barely registers as any kind of interesting person. Wilfred is a weird show and sometimes disgustingly weird or absolutely laugh track ready and if decides to pick a direction then I hope its one of a richer darker more demented take on this gimmicky premise.

Should You Watch? Yes, if only to see a grown man in a dog suit humping a stuffed bear which is funnier than you think.

I breathe for you.

I hold you.

Music holds me.

It lifts you.

I predict a fall.

You see a rise.

I can’t forget the past.

You run to the future.

It all falls slowly.

It all breaks carefully.

I see a warning sign.

You see go ahead.

I run with deep meaning.

You smile with heart warming joy.

There is not you.

There is not us.

The truth is.

I miss you.

Today we celebrate that cerebral mind bender that is Black Swan.  A movie that racked up a bunch of awards and had a tone of its own to say the least.  While we love dangerous women lets not get on the wrong side of a ballerina.  

Black Swan 2010

What is it about? Nina (Portman) is a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her obsessive former ballerina mother Erica (Hershey) who exerts a suffocating control over her. When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but Lily is the personification of the Black Swan. As the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship, Nina begins to get more in touch with her dark side - a recklessness that threatens to destroy her.

Why I love it:  First you must understand the genius of Darren Aronofsky  and how his work influences the narrative.  You know going into one of his movies that you are going to see something that tests your limits either visually or mentally, but always beautifully arresting.  One of my all time favorite Aronofsky films is Requiem for a Dream and its stunning to this day.  I love Black Swan for the quirky dark tone, but also for the dramatic overtures of the whole ballerina scene- really a world unto itself.  Natalie Portman doesn’t so much act it as embodies it and while the story may suffocate from some of its own realities, it simply beats to its own fresh wicked dark themes.

This is part two of my Emmy nominations preview.

Comedy actress: Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie; Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation; Laura Linney, The Big C; Martha Plimpton, Raising Hope; Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly.

Who Deserves to Win:   This is an interesting category this year with a few breakout performances, but I think Amy Poehler deserves to win for her portrayal of the endearing Leslie Knope.

Will Win:  The Academy likes a big draw and Laura Linney is a prestigious enough star to win for the struggling and uneven first season of The Big C.

Supporting drama actor: Andre Braugher, Men of a Certain Age; John Slattery, Mad Men; Alan Cumming, The Good Wife; Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones; Josh Charles, The Good Wife; Walton Goggins, Justified.

Who Deserves to Win:  Peter Dinklage gave warmth and humor to the sometimes over dramatic Game of Thrones and for that he deserves a win.

Will Win:  Walton Goggins from Justified has had a lot of buzz for his role on the hit FX series.

Supporting comedy actor: Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family; Ed O’Neill, Modern Family; Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men; Chris Colfer, Glee.

Who Deserves to Win: While Modern Family is dominating this category I think the win should go to Ty Burrell for his always on point and funny performance as Phil.

Will Win:  Chris Colfer is enough of a fresh face to take the win for Glee.

Supporting comedy actress: Julie Bowen, Modern Family; Sofia Vergara, Modern Family; Jane Lynch, Glee; Betty White, Hot in Cleveland; Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock.

Who Deserves to Win: There is nothing better than giving Sofia Vergara the ability to make the character her own and this season she made Gloria a standout hit.

Will Win:  I see Julie Bowen winning for her underrated performance, but Betty White is just too much of a special actress for the Academy to pass up even if she is nominated for a third rate show.

Supporting drama actress: Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife; Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire; Christine Baranski, The Good Wife; Michelle Forbes, The Killing; Margo Martindale, Justified; Christina Hendricks, Mad Men.

Who Deserves to Win: Christina Hendricks turned a vamp role into something special and for that deserves the win.

Will Win:  Look at Archie Panjabi to win again for The Good Wife.

Movie or miniseries Mildred Pierce, HBO; Downtown Abbey, PBS; The Kennedys, ReelzChannel; Cinema Verite, HBO; Too Big To Fail, HBO; Pillars of the Earth, Starz.

Who Deserves to Win: The winning Mildred Pierce for HBO had a stellar class and great story.

Will Win:  I think really Mildred Pierce is the only competition in this category.

Reality competition: So You Think You Can Dance, Top Chef, The Amazing Race, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway.

Who Deserves to Win: After last years shocking win for Top Chef, I have a feeling that this might be American Idol’s year.

Will Win:  So You Think You Can Dance is still on top of its game after eight seasons.

Reality host: Jeff Probst, Survivor; Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance; Phil Keoghan, Amazing Race; Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars; Ryan Seacrest, American Idol.

Who Deserves to Win: Cat Deeley brings something special and deserves a win after not getting nominated the last four years.

Will Win:  I think the Academy will rightfully choose Cat Deeley.

Variety, music or comedy series: The Colbert Report, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live, Conan, Real Time with Bill Maher, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Who Deserves to Win:   Jimmy Fallon is making great strides with his work on Late Night, but might be too hipster cool for the Academy.

Will Win:  I think the Daily Show will have another win in this category.

The Emmy Nominations have once again come around and its time to see exactly who has what it takes to take gold home.  Now some shows have had spectacular seasons and bittersweet endings, but really there can only be a few that have love from the academy.

Best drama series: Boardwalk Empire, Friday Night Lights, Dexter, Game of Thrones, The Good Wife, Mad Men.

Who Deserves to Win:  Game of Thrones.  Making Television epic again is no small feat, but somehow Game of Thrones pulled off grand story arcs and brought a rich diverse world to life.

Will Win:  Mad Men’s season may not feel like the freshest anymore, but season four had powerful episodes that defined Television in 2010.  Look for another win in this category. 

Best comedy series: Modern Family, 30 Rock, Glee, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, Parks and Recreation.

Who Deserves to Win:  Parks and Recreation found a tone and made Pawnee the city you wished you lived in.  With its inside jokes and smartly written characters you can’t help but feel the charm.

Will Win:  This is a tough category, but I see Modern Family taking it again this year with what felt like a slight sophomore slump.  The academy still loves a good breakout hit and Modern Family has kept that tradition alive and well. 

Drama actress: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife; Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU; Kathy Bates, Harry’s Law; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights and Mireille Enos, The Killing.

Who Deserves to Win:  Elisabeth Moss was hands down a phenomenal breakout in the episode “The Suitcase”.  Connie Britton deserves one for her entire run on Friday Night Lights, but I feel that the nomination will have to be reward enough.

Will Win:  Elisabeth Moss for the upset against Julianna Margulies.

Comedy actor: Steve Carell, The Office; Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory;  Matt LeBlanc, Episodes, Louis C.K., Louie; Johnny Galecki, Big Bang Theory.

Who Deserves to Win:  Jim Parsons for the winning performance he gives in the Big Bang Theory.  Having won in this category last year it may just not be a repeat.

Will Win:  I believe this is Steve Carells year to win for his lifetime achievement work on The Office and rightfully so.

Drama actor: Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire; Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Hugh Laurie, House; Timothy Olyphant, Justified.

Who Deserves to Win:  Kyle Chandler brought something real and passionate to the role of coach, but like the show itself there just might not be enough momentum going into this race.

Will Win:  I think Steve Buscemi may take it for his lead actor role on Boardwalk Empire or Michael C. Hall for the upset.

Since the last two months have sped up exponentially I’m just now starting to realize how fast it really has all gone by.  I’m excited for future projects, but for the most part feel lost..maybe I really feel lost in translation.  I’m having a hard time translating the time I am in now with how I feel.  I think when we are younger we spend so much time romanticizing about success that we tend to forget how really there is no such thing as the perfect successful future.  I think achieving your dreams is a definite possibility for most people and I know a lot of people who work hard and find that special purpose.  For the last three years I have felt that I was on the right path, but now I’m not so sure.  I enjoy what I do and I enjoy coming up with new ideas that can help me grow as a person, but most of the time it feels empty.  Graduation felt empty.  My day to day errands feel empty.  Now I’m not saying that “empty” is a negative thing- It’s the kind of feeling that doesn’t elicit a response really.  I wake up every morning trying to feel something about anything, but really I go through the motions of making it each day.  I’m always on time and courteous of other people no matter how disappointed they seem.  I take one minute when I park my car every morning before work to look out at the skyline to watch the sun rise and warm the day and I tell myself that this is important.  That everything we do in our day to day is important because it takes up most of our life and it would just feel devastating if it all really meant nothing.  I guess the real feeling is deriving meaning from what you don’t find important and that is where the life lessons live.  For everyone everywhere they search and search for meaning and meaning by definition can mold itself to anything you need it to be.  As a kid sitting on your bed looking up at your day glow galaxy sticker ceiling you dream about a future that may or not have a foot in reality, but it doesn’t matter.  It just feels in a word “romantic”- an ever lasting dream perfectly held in time by your imagination.  As you travel the world it begins to take shape and the reality begins to cut away at it.  It is no longer perfect as you work through the people, relationships, and events of your everyday life.  It gets bruised and cracked as your emotions begin to grow and you open your eyes to the truth that unfolds in front of you.  You no longer feel the same way you did as a child staring on what felt like an endless sky, but instead your world feels smaller and even more closed.  This is not true for everyone as everyone has a view of their own reality, but its easy enough to see when you actually stop and pay attention.  The romantic dream no longer feels real, but instead feels just like it always was meant to- a dream.

Do you ever feel so tired that the only thing that matters to you is sleeping? I’m at that point lately- I have had a change of schedule that has led me to have this type of exhaustion. Now, I’m not talking about being tired or just sleepy- I’m so tired that I can’t wake up in the morning and I only want to sleep throughout my entire day. I have tried changing up the schedule by sleeping more or just sleeping exactly seven or eight hours, but nothing seems to work. I would always wake up when the alarm went off and I would usually feel pretty good about mid-day, but lately I have to sleep and extra ten or fifteen minutes after the alarm just to get the power to wake up. I feel so sluggish and tired that I can barely even find the energy to care about anything. I just want to sleep and since I work a full six days a week- that is just simply not an option. My days of coffee drinks and sweet teas are officially over and I take vitamins every single day, but nothing seems to work. It’s not really that I feel bad, but just so tired- when I sleep, I sleep hard. I hate this feeling and well I have had it for a couple of months now and it just won’t go away. I’m planning to go to the doctor to see what it could be other than what I’m sure he will say “diet, exercise, routine…blah, blah, blah.” I’m working on changing all of this, but like everything else I just don’t feel up to it or feel like I have the time. I keep writing about time, because I feel that time is the real enemy. Our idea of time doesn’t allow us to feel like we can ever stop accomplishing what we need to. I’m not sure, even that statement seems like a ball of neuroses thought of yet another skittish kid. I really could just crawl in a box and sleep for days- just a nice quite space is what I need.

EC Media Works is quickly becoming my own little adventure into start-ups for dummies. I have been researching the blogosphere looking for as many examples of what kind of business is just like mine. Now, I will admit that there are a ton of businesses that essentially are trying to do what I want to do, but I think that maybe- just maybe, I might have the right attitude to pull it off. I love social media and I want my company to encompass the social spectrum as it pertains to marketing (Isn’t everyone trying to sell something?) and virtual assisting. I think we have barely started to understand how social media can bring in revenue and connect a company with their consumers on a truly human level, allowing their products to be part of people’s lives in ways they may have never truly understood. People love their options when it comes to buying things and simply they want a reliable, well priced, and quality product that will keep on delivering what they expect it to. I think as a marketer you have to find the “voice” of your product and how it relates or even if it relates to the people you are trying to sell it to. Not every product is made for every person and it shouldn’t be marketed that way. Essentially I want EC Media Works to stand for a quality relationship business between companies and their customers. I’m in the baby stages of this though and right now it is roughly just a small idea getting stronger each day. The website will be launching soon with many neat integrated social media platforms as well as a full range of services that I can offer including some third party contracting plans that allow for not only marketing help, but also design help. I feel really great about this idea and I hope that I do this better than other random business ideas I have had over the years.

An idea on the rise over looking a future so promising

I can smell your warmth and sweetness.

I can sense your longing for me while you weep.

I can read your mood with every breath you take.

I can long for your taste.

I can see what you need.

I can see what you want.

I can feel my mouth upon your skin.

I can graze my lips down your arms.

I can want.

I want to kiss you in a subtle way.

I want to open your eyes.

I want you to see your life again.

I want a morsel.

I want to taste.

I want to be.

I am your one true love.

I am Vampire.

Here is a little questionnaire that was borrowed from Megan  that I decided to fill out as well….

1. When you are on a plane and the kid behind you is kicking your seat, what do you do?
I don’t know how I would react to some kid going crazy and kicking the back of my seat. I probably would just tell them to stop in a kind way (or just complain so much to the flight attendant that they are forced to move me to first class!).

2. What food that you KNOW is bad for you and you shouldn’t have, but you love/eat it anyway?
This would definitely be my love of chicken wings. I love spicy food and I think wings contain something like 500 calories a serving!  I also love Frapps from Starbucks which are like little buckets of sugar and fat, but make you feel so good.

3. What is your favorite book of all time?
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair is the book that changed everything for me. I read it for AP History in High school and was just blown away by how graphic and sad it was. The quasi political messages had some deep impact for its time and the book is simply amazing. For a children’s book I would have to go with Where The Wild Things Are, because of how beautifully illustrated it is.  There is a copy of this book that sits in my bookcase to this day.

4. If I came to visit you in your town, where would we eat?
I love how diverse Chattanooga is for such a small city, but I would for sure take you to Easy a beautifully styled restaurant with a limited, but great menu selection. Its seafood elegantly delivered without a huge price tag. The Jumbo shrimp pasta in light truffle oil is a standout.

5. You have 500 dollars and 40 minutes to spend it at any store you want. Where do you go?
I go to Target and buy some clothes and some electronics and some music.  I would defiantly break open those glass cases and grab me a new ipod and e-reader, though I think that would already be more than $500.00

6. What blog do you read every day/the most often?
I love the popwatch blog over at ew.com and also love reading the reviews at the avclub.com which are both must reads for pop-culture connoisseurs. I also love the entertainment section over at Salon.com as well.

7. What’s the longest you’ve ever been stuck at an airport?
I think like thirty minutes, but really who counts anymore..lol.

8. What’s your daily makeup/face/cleansing routine?
I clean my face twice a day…now that is an odd question.

9. Where is your farthest away friend?
I believe that would be L.A. and I miss her very much!

10. Where is your favorite place to go hiking (or to enjoy nature)?
In Chattanooga on Lookout Mountain which has the best views of the city up in Rock City. I think I’ve been up about six or seven times since living in Tennessee. If I were in Florida I had this small bench near the fort in St. Augustine that was just the most calming place overlooking the bay (In the picture above). I loved that spot and always thought of it as my thinking space.

I guess in many ways you can call this month the “rebirth” as I have gotten a new job, no longer go to school, and started thinking what comes next. I love that everything is slowly falling into place as I move on and learn more than I have in the last two years. I enjoy the new routine, but I have to admit that I do ask myself “What does it all mean?” I guess like every other twenty something with little to no direction you try to wonder why we do all the things we do. In the end, is it just to live the life you wanted? Making your own dreams come true is like a giant race with time. Time is always against us as we try for bigger and better things. I decided a few months ago to start my own small business to get a sense of what it is like to have something that I can truly call my own. It’s slowly getting ready for a premiere launch and like most “kids” who have never had their own business- I tend to see a lot of gray area as far as how to actually run the business. There is so much to learn from the legality of the work to how a client list grows. All these things that don’t seem to have very clear answers. While that is a side project I am working a full time job in television five days a week and I’m enjoying the change of pace. I also work my hotel gig one day a week for extra cash that I can use towards my business. All these things have made for a pretty jam packed month, but I’m constantly looking for the next thing and where it leads next. I’m really not a live in the moment kind of person and I think it’s funny that many people want to do more of that- I can’t sit and wait- no one can really, who is trying to fulfill so much in so little amount of time. I work diligently to get ahead and try even harder to find outlets that allow for creativity. I think that is what I want most from a career, somewhere I can have the creative voice that can lead to a great vision. Life at times feels so tumultuous yet mundane that you may forget that the reason anything matters is because we need it to.

-EC

I finally have a website design for my new website and I’m really looking forward to launching my own media marketing on-line company that will focus on generating business and creating some leads in local markets. I love media for all the reasons everyone else does, but I also like the idea of creating communities with like minded business owners.  I’m really excited about finally getting a launch up and running- it has been some time in the making, but I think I’m finally ready.  I usually don’t get far in these crazy ideas, but I’m really more focused or at least I think I feel that way.  Since graduating in May I have had doubts of where my life is going as far as what gives it meaning.  When days bleed into each other and there is no time to allow your creative voice to be heard, well that is when I feel the most out of control.  I gain control from having a creative and artistic voice.  I still believe that design is what allows us to reach a higher level of feeling.  I think that “loving” what you do is still very important to me.  I can’t say that I’m a 100% sure if this is just another one of my many pick them up and leave them ideas, but I’m willing to take the risk to see where things go.  I work six days a week and this type of schedule doesn’t leave much time for dreaming, I dream because I can’t do, but I also dream because I want to be. I want to be more than I am, but who doesn’t.  I feel like it saddens me that I can’t help out the web series my friend was creating, but sadly my schedule can never really sync with those.  I hate to let it go, but I’m excited to see where it goes- Its really fun watching people do what they love.  I want to find what I love before its too late to just say- “nothing”

It seems as quickly as the season changes the more I tend to abandon this blog. I think its the will to write or to feel that your life is important enough to have something to say. I really enjoy writing, but I guess I have so much going on that I just don't "feel" the need. Today I decided to update the design of the blog and I plan to write about my new business venture and the creative process to get it off the ground. Life has been extremely open lately with no direction in sight so here is to the future and documenting it like a true social entity. I hope to write at least one entry a week and try to keep things fresh. When I look back on this blog when I'm like seventy I want to feel that yeah, "Life was interesting."