The Freedom of Happiness

The last few days have been busy and incredibly boring all at the same time, but something happened.  One day I found out about the freedom of happiness.  That feeling that comes around every once in a while that makes life so much better and yet so fleeting that you don’t ever remember what it actually feels like.  Its like that first time you figured out that life really isn't made up of your dreams, but more of how well you can force your way through to success.  You can be sitting there upset and unfocused and in a split second feel “Open”.  Like nothing matters more than what you feel in that moment.  It doesn't last of course as feelings of self doubt and crippling fear slowly enter your mind again and your lost in whatever mundane task you were doing in the first place.  The “Freedom” comes from allowing yourself to feel open to the happiness and trying to duplicate it as much as possible.  You want to feel happy and not like some unsuccessful plague on society.  Yet there is nothing that triggers what will make you happy, you just are and then you are not.  Lately I have felt a lot better because the feeling of just being open and free seems to just seep in.  Like standing in an open field where nothing can really harm you- where your feelings don’t have to make sense- where you no longer feel like a failure.  The world is tough and sometimes you just need happiness to flood your life, if just for a few moments.