He wears thick black brimmed glasses and a white pocket square.
He likes buttermilk in the morning, but only after a cup of coffee.
He works as a janitor three times a week.
He mops beige hallways that smell like lemon lime and mildew.
He can never find matching socks so he buys just white ones.
He laughs out loud to reruns of M.A.S.H.
He thinks the smell of cinnamon is nauseating.
He met his girlfriend on-line while shopping for comic books.
He thinks if she were a flower than she would be a tulip.
He tried to kiss her on their first date while riding a tilt-a-whirl.
He secretly wishes he knew how to whistle.
He once had a dream that he met Al Gore while swimming for the national polo team.
He thinks he’s allergic to blueberry muffins.
He wears brown shoes with red laces.
He had his first kiss by a red ant hill.
He once smashed a snow globe against the hood of a ford mustang.
He chews with his mouth open.
He cried at the end of Casablanca.
He has a Spiderman bandage on his left knee from tripping on a fire hydrant.
He kisses his girlfriend and thinks about cotton candy.
He thinks his girlfriend secretly hates his hair.
He once added blue food coloring to his eggs.
He dreams about flying away in a hot air balloon.
He wonders why he can’t propose.
He thinks he’s just not in love.
