Welcome to the Edge

The last couple of weeks have been so hectic that I have not had a chance to write anything- between work and school there has just been zero time. Finally things are winding down and coming to a close. I just have a few more major projects/tests to finish and then its freedom of some sort. Right now I don’t know what to do or where to go. I feel like some days are not even full days, but more like micro minutes in time that I can barely remember. Then there are days that feel like they last forever with no end in sight. Life feels overly complicated and at times very simple. Someone once told me not to think outside my “now” and to only keep abstract thoughts to being creative. Don’t worry about what’s going on in China, just worry about how you feel here and now. I’m not like that though, I think constantly about what life is like thousands of miles away from me. I wonder if people feel the same way I do or if it matters that I’m having a really good life. Is everything in our lives subjective to only how we see it? I don’t think that people even care all that much about the day to day, but life feels like the day to day. It doesn’t feel like much more than that.

The work I have done this week makes me feel fulfilled. I planned an entire presentation that  I designed with graphics and a website that I made. I have a pitch and even some visual representations to make an actual PR presentation. I enjoy thinking about marketing and PR, this has been the only time I have even had the chance to make something that resembles more than just some random assignment. It has meaning and it could really work in the so called “real world”. I’m excited when I get to work on projects like this, but I feel that they are few and far between. Everything else is made to feel overwhelming and complicated when you know they are not. I’m surprised how people feel so self important and that labels are constantly needed to define everything you do. I’m an opinionated person, but most of the time I feel I have an opinion because people expect me to and not because I actually care.

School has been great and I wish I could devote more time to campus activities, but one can’t complain too much. I hate that I’m always trying to figure out what it all means and if it even matters. I guess that what life is, I guess that’s what I represent.