The Focus…Continued.

It struck me today that I haven't breathed and laughed like a kid in a long time when the most important thing for the day was getting to laugh and maybe an ice cream sandwich in the midst of a heat ridden summer.

I remember as a kid having the most active imagination of the world and thinking about so many questions and how they fit into this universe. I was so determine to find the interesting in everything and how life sort of just breathed. I want to breath now I want to feel the wind in my lungs and laugh so hard that my life just sort of glides. I guess in times of great pressure there comes a point in your thought process that makes you want to just forget it all. I have always wondered what is the point of the human existence. Is it more than just love or having a point of direction? I guess it should be so much more. I want it to mean something in my heart as well as my head.

I have to admit that many times I feel very selfish for complaining when so many others have no voice. I feel like I don't use the opportunities in my life to make a difference- Its very simple to talk these truths, but its more of a wide world epidemic to do something about it. I guess the fact that being something larger than yourself should be more important than letting yourself fall prey to the constant shortcomings in your mind. I want to feel the need is important. I'm going to help The problem is that my dreams almost outweigh the need to help. I want so much for myself, but I also want so much for others. I need to find a balance. I know that I do. I should really think about this more.

The world is complicated, but when does it matter more to feel the prosecuting affects of physiologically numbing over analysis? One can only wonder.